How to keep the family together through life’s crises.

A united front
How to keep the family together through life’s crises.

The typhoon in Myanmar and earthquake in China in May, brought in their wake widespread destruction and death to hundreds of thousands of people. As we hear the news from thousands of kilometres away, can we even begin to imagine the despair of the affected families?

Many of us are thankful that we have never experienced such tragedy, andbelieve that the chancgs of facing similar misfortunes are unlikely. But in today’s uncertain
times, what guarantee do we have?

There are many crises in life that can tear families apart. Natural disasters, accidents, job loss, financial downfall and serious illnesses can catch us unawares.

If your family is faced with a crisis, how would it withstand the challenges? What are some of the ways you can prepare your family to remain together in the face of adversity?

Spend time together
Families that spend time together are more likely to he dose-knit and secure, In today’s busy society, parents need to enforce more family time right from the start, to build strong relationships with their children.

Many parents who lead busy lives would argue that the quality of time spent with their children is more important than the quantity.

But Dr James Dobson, author and family advocate, begs to differ: “Both quality and quantity are important in many areas of our lives, including how we relate to our children. They need our time and the best we have to give them.”

Families ought to set aside regular times during the week to be with each other, Time spent together doing fun activities will help to foster a deeper love for one another.

A family secured by love is determined to stay together, no matter how difficult things may get, So whether it is playing a board game, going to the mall, or sharing stories, be sure to have family times regularly.

Meaningful communication
Technology has made communication in today’s society easier and faster, but it has not improved the quality of communication. More and more, our communication with one
another has been reduced to threeline e-mails and text messages.

A common sight in homes: the children are engaged in various forms of media such as the computer, television or video game console, while the parents work late intothe night, There is hardly any time for meaningful conversations. Is it any wonder then that families drift apart during trials, rather than cling to one another for support?

How can parents have meaningful communication with their children? Parents can begin by asking their children regularly how their day was, while carefully listening to
underlying positive or negative emotions.

Often we hear the words but fail to listen to how the words are said. A child answers in a morose tone that his or her day was “fine,” but in a hurry, the parent assumes that all is well.

In reality, children often need parents to prod them to open up and share honestly. Parents need to be patient during this time, and show a genuine interest in hearing what their child has to say, Since communication is a two-way process, parents have to be sure that they are sharing personally about their lives as well.

The tumultuous years of adolescence are marked by rebellion, apathy and emotional turmoil.

Most parents would attest that trying to communicate with their children during such times can be frustrating and discouraging, Instead of talking excitedly like they used to do, all parents hear are monosyllabic replies such as “Maybe” ‘1 dunno” or “Who cares?”

It is important for parents to continue to keep the lines of communication open. In time, teenagers will no longer be teenagers; and if parents are still there for them, they will begin communicating again.

Managing conflicts
As families deal with minor problems and difficulties in the course of everyday life, it will prepare them for bigger crises that may come along. Even the strongest of families can fall apart at the Onset of a tragedy or unexpected crisis, what more a family which has had no experience in dealing with minor issues in life.

Parents tend to hide personal problems at work from their children. But by sharing with the children, parents can encourage the family to be there for one another and to talk through issues together. As parents model to children the value of sharing personal conflicts and difficulties, children will also learn to do the same.

Learning to deal with conflicts together will give the family a sense of unity, and teach them the importance of helping one another through difficult circumstances. Family members will know that they are not alone in their problems.

Conflicts and hardship build character, and teach children important values such as perseverance and patience, Dealing with problems together also teaches them to be less self-centred, and to show concern for others.

There are circumstances in life that are beyond our control. How we handle difficult situations is up to us. We can choose to despair and lose sight of what is important, or
we can rise up to the challenge and remain hopeful.